WARNING! ~ ~ ~ Σ(°△°|||)︴

I use my blog as a diary, therefore there will be alot of spelling mistakes and some cussing. I may touch on some heavy and sensitive topics not appropriate for kids. I do try to put some kind of warning in the post itself

19 July 2026

swimmy swam

Due to a mix of gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia i havnt been to a pool or anything since i was 14 years old. 
My partner and friend wanted to celebrate their bday together at my partners parents pool. At first i was unsure. But i knew now i feel ok i would regret not going and participate. Due to it being planned a lil last minute i was scrambling and having a hard time to find some kinda swim shorts... to wich a friend offered to help make one w their partner. So i ordered 2 in difr colors, wich got sewn together! 
I went in the pool for hours and had so much fun!! When i got out i was so exhausted LMAO. I had alot of fun :3

Wich reminds me
I should make a folded on pc and save like all pictures for memorys... idk why i havnt done that yet hhh 
 
Weather is finally much better! its around 18 degrees atm yippay.
 
Made a new playlist, just music thats fun? "yaaay happy dance! yahhoo!" idk how else to describe it man lmao. Have a listen :3
 
Im looking at webdev resources again (waw i know), and alot of ppls carrds r so fucking tiny??? I asume this is so it would still look ok on mobile, but my ass blind af and also?? why tf give coding resources on mobile?? IF YA WANNA CODE DO IT ON YA PUTER FFS
Anyway, finally been tryna make my "fun" page. But i got no idea what i wanna do for it theme wise, so layout is hard to figure out aswel. I did recently learn about iframes, so that might come in handy.
I made a recolord ver of my main cursor and figured out how to make it change to teh recolored ver when hover over a link. I feel so ridiculous but it makes me happy to figuire stuff out yippee. Also wanna give some kinda visual input if u hover the navigation buttons
 
Update on spotify, i dont know how?? but the "repeat" icon was turned off, so it indeed only played the playlist once and turned off... 
 
!!! CW: Mentions of grooming !!!
The otherday when laying in bed trying to fall asleep i was just having stuff playing in my head... All i remember was suddenly feeling this immense sadness? betrayal? and thinking "i was groomed?" and then i fell asleep... and i have no clue if i actually remembered something? was whatever i thought off not real??
It makes me really uncomfortable, but is it bc its just a disturbing topic or do i unconsciously remember something?
And im lowkey scared if i start prying ill learn things that where forgotten for a reasen... 
 
Im starting to spiral!
Will be going to bed and put my blorbos in situations