appley soise

No clue what i dreamd of but somebody said "if i where a pokemon that sucked, id be Roronoa Zoro"... and then i woke up??? 

Im so hungry but we got nothing in this damn house (see: w no prep, i dont wan make spaghetti n eat it in bed).. ive been surviving off of stale bread ad nutella bc mu brother ate the dsmn peanut butter... but... the apple sauce in the cabinet... it has been whispering my name.... it knows i musnt... I CANT NO FOR GRAN HAS GREAT PLANS IN YOUR FUTURE!... but it eyes me so when i get the nutella... i fear i might not be strong enough in the future to whitold myself... oh applesauce, how i crave you...

 

Downloaded obsidian, i been customizing the ui for HOURS, sudenly got filled with dread? like i got overwhelmed? and i shut it down, was not happy with what i did LMAO. 

 

Partner sadly cant get piercing soon so i will have to go by my lonesome. Already mailed sombody some questions for an apointment. Hopefully somewhere next week. Exited to b able to have cute earings in the future :3

 

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of beginning this blog, yippee!

Ive not been writting here alot recently. I just dont have anything i wish to talk ab. Rest asured i will when i do

 

crying, as im about to close my pc to get in bed they decide to start doing construction outside. Both outside my window and from the livingrooms side. THEY HATE ME!!! 

Coding wise i finally made a sidemap. Tho i wanna make it visually clear wich pages are up and arent (likly just putting a das trough the ones that arent)

I went trough several hells trying to finally start a bead curtain. I have alot of beads but theyre all difr kinds of beads... so im making a tiny one w those small glass beads..  it look wonky as hell hhh. I will finish it tho

Bought tickets to epic doll fair! Itl b in march, exited! 

Can Pierce die in his sleep already... pls

For the past couple of weeks ive been looking at the weather app religiously, hoping it will drop down and actually stay down. It got to like 30 with 23 in sight but then back up to 28 on sunday. Been using my ice pack alot, rly happy with them. Been drinking alot of water (to woever is reading, go drink some water rn please)

Yall it just now hit me... Monét X Change... Money Exchange. I feel embarrassed LMAO. Whenever i read her name i just kinda thought of the painter... I made the realization bc i said the painters name out loud. 

I wanna apply for webrings... the only thing holding me back is wanting a button first. Alot of webrings ask it (tho its not needed) and i feel like it would just be a bigger hassle if i apply w/o one and them ask to add one. hm hm hm

A new hyperfixation is slowly creeping up... im trying my darnest best to keep it at bay... Beaded banners/curtains... they looks so cute and seem fairly easy to make!

Man??? Idk how but i managed to scratch myself in my sleep again?? 

I have 2 sleeping playlists i switch betwedn n sometines i put on other playlists too. My main has no lyrics, my second mostly does. In my second i have this song Breathe (in the Air) from Pink Floyd n the first few seconds always confuses the hell outa me lmao

Ive been watchimg Comminity whenever i eat. Its a bit dated but i still think its charming n i like a good chunk of the characters (not pierce, hes creepy n a weirdo in a bad way) just bit weird to me that Troy is Childish Gambino. I think my fav character is Abed... i just relate alot to him. Reasen i watch these kinda shows is bc theyre like 25mins long, i can leave mid epusode n cone back w/o needing to remember major plot lines n i find it entertaining. Idk why it feels like enjoying these types of media feel "wrong" for me. Lije its only a guity pleasure... maybe brain think "dont wanna b like one of those... normies" idk, is populair for reasen?

Welp i go back to sleep

no way?? i code? again?

Finally got my disability payment!! I was sending Gran my monthly contribution and i put the extra in my savings... and then it kinda hit me like bruh... a disabled person is supposed to survive of this??? Granted i think id get more if i lived alone. But still! Im like too nervous to calculate my monthly payments bc that means id have even less, so im just living in bliss of that hhh. I gues im just a lil upset that i now get much less then what i did b4 this whole bs started happening. Im just rly trying not to think ab it too much bc knowing this is likly gon b it till i die is depressing as hell.

And then fucking sumup, I asked sumup to change my shop name. They asked for some kinda proof and my dumbass said i dont got that, i only do it as a hobby. And my thing got shut down. At first they where being rly asses bc i kept asking why. But eventually i got a propper answer. Aperently your not allowed to do it as a hobby... only a real shop??? I cant make a new one BC THEY TOOK MY FUCKING NAME. So ive been rly stressed ab that bc alot of ppl at cons pay w card, id loose ALOT of money if i cant accept card. Looking online there seems to b no real replacement. I think imma contact my auticoach te help me with this

Anyway coded more... i should prolly delete all the other saves (like i literly still have the first time i saved lmao). Happy with how it looks!!! The marquee with the stamps at the top pauses when u hover over it :^D I should think of stuff to put in the right div, maybe some blinkies? And then i should try and decorate with pictures of dogs (its suposed to be wanwancore themed)... and that godforsakend button... IF ID HAVE A USERNAME IT B EASYER! 

 

Must say, i keep all the screenshots i take (i take one everytime i upload it to neocities) and its been fun seeing the progression! Im proud to see how much ive done and learned in only 5 month! It was rly intimidating at first, but im happy i started bc ive been having alot of fun with it :3

 

 

Its gon get above 30degrees again... pls kill me already 

new theme, same ol' bs

organized my folders and added a warning/landing page!

Did notice my pictures broke but im tired so ill fix those another day

One day ill add difr fonts... one day...

 

Oh yea i changed firefox theme! and made my taskbar also match + im using this cursor. Reasen? i just rly like hot pink lol

swimmy swam

Due to a mix of gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia i havnt been to a pool or anything since i was 14 years old. 

My partner and friend wanted to celebrate their bday together at my partners parents pool. At first i was unsure. But i knew now i feel ok i would regret not going and participate. Due to it being planned a lil last minute i was scrambling and having a hard time to find some kinda swim shorts... to wich a friend offered to help make one w their partner. So i ordered 2 in difr colors, wich got sewn together! 

I went in the pool for hours and had so much fun!! When i got out i was so exhausted LMAO. I had alot of fun :3

Wich reminds me

I should make a folded on pc and save like all pictures for memorys... idk why i havnt done that yet hhh 

 

Weather is finally much better! its around 18 degrees atm yippay.

 

Made a new playlist, just music thats fun? "yaaay happy dance! yahhoo!" idk how else to describe it man lmao. Have a listen :3

 

Im looking at webdev resources again (waw i know), and alot of ppls carrds r so fucking tiny??? I asume this is so it would still look ok on mobile, but my ass blind af and also?? why tf give coding resources on mobile?? IF YA WANNA CODE DO IT ON YA PUTER FFS
Anyway, finally been tryna make my "fun" page. But i got no idea what i wanna do for it theme wise, so layout is hard to figure out aswel. I did recently learn about iframes, so that might come in handy.
I made a recolord ver of my main cursor and figured out how to make it change to teh recolored ver when hover over a link. I feel so ridiculous but it makes me happy to figuire stuff out yippee. Also wanna give some kinda visual input if u hover the navigation buttons

 

Update on spotify, i dont know how?? but the "repeat" icon was turned off, so it indeed only played the playlist once and turned off... 

Coding and coding and coding

First off the last few posts have weird time stamps bc for some reasen when i tried to post them it sheduled it instead. And for some reasen it then refused to actually post? so i then fix it but it makes it so it seems that i posted it then while it should b another time... whatever 

Trying to make my main page again. I feel like i might be making the most cursed code in existence, but... it works

AAAaaaaaannnddd thats a wrap... pretty much spend whole day on this but very happy with it!

 

what da glorp

Whaaa! I finally did it! After fighting for so long, the other day i asked 2 friends of mine that i was rly confused ab a coding issue. And they helped me with it alot! My first time coding from scratch wuhh.
But i made my "about me" page! Ofc not the prettiest out there and its still a wip. But im so happy with it! They told me i should rly try to learn about flex boxes so will have to practice that.

 

Also will b deleting the lil update thingy in my main page.. idk just kinda stresses me out if i forget and then had to add another day but by then i forgot what i actually did... 

something that pisses me off ab vsc is how the errors in my code dont make sense... im tired rn so i dont feel like solving it either hhh... and i kinda wanna... code my main page from scratch too... like i love the template!! but i want it to be mine

I tried... but got too tired and a lil frustrated so gave up n now in bed

prepping to atack

Artfight is in like 2 weeks. Finally started re-decorating my profile. still a wip but this is how far ive gotten!  Perhaps suprising? but i chose team Tragedy. I hope to atleast draw more then last year.

 

Also got accepted and been setting up my ArtistStore. 

I dont rly have alot to say. Energy is low, heat is going up. But im managing... By sleeping 

Trans horse-girl Teto? Hell yea

For the first time i tried coding from scratch. Wanted to make my About me page for neocities... and... its going... it looks like ass yea but i made that!! thats my ass!!! its a HUGEEEE wip n i wish i could continue on it but i gotta wrap it up n pack my shit n head to bed bc BORTHDAY PARTY!!!

Heres what i got, friend who done coding in school told me "yea thas how we all start" wich felt validating. I want it to be space/alien themed. Cursor could b a UFO. I just need to remind myself to have fun, its ok if it looks like ass bc im still new to it BUT IM DOING IT!!!

 

And heres a mini inspiration board

 

OH and lastly
Been having this song on repeat LMAO 

sick or allergy

Hmmm i tgink allergy bc this the seasen of pollen. But my back/shoulder is hurting. Shes scares it might b a lung infection... i dont think that. I woke up sone days ago w my shoulder hurting when i do surtain movement. However it also hurts when i breath in a lil too deep or when i sneeze. I do think i slept laying wrong. Im hyper flexible n to get in a comfy position i tend to bend my body in strange ways. The pain already lessened much. 

I bought a new backpack. Been looking for a hot while. Was first intending to get a light blue one but then i remembered its likly gon get dirty. So i ended up w a darked turquoise... i recieved it n its a bit darker then expected sigh. Still like it tho. Its not a regular backpack, its meant for traveling. So it has like 1 main pocket thats majority of tge backpack. It has elastic inside like a suitcase n u can open it up compleatly. And then it has a bunch of hiden pockets. I felt lije this better suited my wants/needs then my old backpack (wich is like 6 years by now damn) also just rly wanna step away from black unless its smtg i rly like. Cougg i used to only get black items so i wouldnt b noticed. Bc it felt the safest. N then i realised thas a horrible way to live so i started buying colordul stuff bc it makes me happy. Also wanna sew a bunch of my patches onto it.

Rebloging Project Hail Mary content like my life depends on it. I also see and reblog some blodymary stuff (Iron Lung X Project Hail Mary) I dont rly ship it romanticly (neither do i mind the ship). In my mind Grace is aroace. But i like blodymary for Simons potential. Also Grace and Simon queer platonic partners? hmmm- yes. 

 

I found Marginalia-search and been exploring on there. Its a search engine but the goal is just exploring if that makes sense. I love those kinda things. Found a blog thats been reviewing difrent kinds of dolls since 2012 and has a post as recent as april this year. When looking trough it i found some doll lines i completely forgotten about. 

 

Goodlord, i wanted to pick up the shirt i ordered but its raining pretty hard.

 

I revamped my blog! Its now fish yippee

 

Bruh i liked 1 (one) death note post n now my whole tumblr is full of it

 

Recently i changed up my Toyhouse profile, i rly like how its looking :3 I should get back to coding my site. But my brain is occupied with "must draw" Bc i at least want to have a reference for Astra before Artfight starts this year. This is what i got so far. Wont be bothering with lineart.

Fighting demons in my sleep wtf

Might do a compleat "make-over" on this blog. Now that i get coding i can make stuff work better. I also just wanna make stuff look difr. Since my main neocities has alot of rainbow i wan do smtg difr on this blog. Unsure of what yet. Also the character blog isnt selved. Just have other priorities atm

Update on neocities... used another template yet again lmao. It dosnt work on mobile but idc. Dont got a better pic rn (on phone bc in bed)

For now i rly need to focus on deadline tho. Started on new logo/stamp. Lije what i got so far... still stuck on name. Ive saciated my need to use "confetti" by changing name here. So hmmm

Also woke up w a big ass scar on my forehead. Wtf did i do in my sleep man. Reminder to self to cut my nails i gues

RELEASE ME

AAAAA
Rly fucked myself over, I have a side blog on tumblr where i reblog web decor. Idc if others use it or not, its meant for me lol. Problem is, for some time now ive reblogged a bunch of stuff... with no tags... so now im going back and tagging stuff.. ITS TAKING SO LONG AAAA. And ofc my ADHD is tryna kick the shit outa me. Its boring hhh. I now put up this video (Horror and disability: A messy legacy by Girl on film), should help me keep me entertained. I started at 10am and it is now 12.20 hhhh, i havnt even gone through half of it. I really wanna finish tagging my reblogs today bc imma need it stuff when im building my site, the tags are there just for organization, so if not organized i cant find stuff!
Anyway enough postponing, will update once i finish... or give up
Update: finished at 16.38
Got into Vc and ofc got distracted

 Decided to focus on one page at a time. Curently working on the home page. Heres smtg i made in my art program, mainly to figure out some color and placement.

 

The lil note picture in the right bar would be for updates, i do wanna have "confettii-gutz" in the header but thas details for later. It took me awhile to figure out how to do the background but i got it in the end.
This is the current state of the site 

 

I feel like the changes seem so... insignificant? Like ppl who know what theyre doing might think im working at snails speed. But it took me a bit to figure out both the background (wich is intierly coded! not a picture!!!) and the lil update box on the right. So im pleased with what i have. Also got rid of the Blog... instead decided to link to here lol. Maybe i should add a border to the navigation bar. But i forst wanna add the propper font and colors to the words b4 that.

 

 Oh man its 6.44am, i heard a truck and got hit with nostalgia. kinda emotional rn. Just remembering when my grandpa worked he had to start up his truck rly early too. Its parked in the same spot. Right in view of my window. I remember always being anoyed when i heard his truck bc it woke me up and that meant i only had a few more minutes left of sleep. I do miss him. I miss when he didnt have dementia, he took me everywhere, he was grumpy but meant well. I have alot of mixed feelings. I just wish he didnt have to watch himself rot away... 

ANYWAY, i should head to bed 

Drooling... i wabt... tato... giv me... spud....

I crave.... potato... baked potato hmmmm

But we dont got any potatos except mashed.

The other day my partner and i celebrated out 2 year anniversary, we gave eachotger presents. He gave me 2 ikea rat plushies (dubbed Domino, Domitwoo and he kept a third wich is Domithree. He told me he mainly kept it bc it reminded him of me lol) and the manga Uzumaki by Junji Ito!

I started reading it, i like to read while in bed. I read 2 chapters n rly like it so far!

Absolutly horrifiying and devestating. Exactly what i like LMAO. I do have to pace myself bc such type stories affect my mental health (stupid ngl)

Potato....

Update on coding

Overwhelmed myself LMAO. Had to take a step back and reflect on stuff. Main issue being wanting to do everytging at once, adhd and not having a plan. So im thinking ab either making ever page rly barebone and then put detail one by one or only working on 1 page at a time untill its done

(Just now acidently slapped my phone, it falling n hitting me in the face...)

Anyway i also wana give each page its own aesthetic. Reasen being i collect alot of graphics n stuff n jave alot of ideas.

Wasnt sure yet on the maim page... but i think i wanna go with "wanwancore". N have alot of cute dog stuff on it... a paw as cursor... 

I also had idea to make a gallery, could have all my art. Maybe make it vampire themed. Lots of red n black, gothic font, maybe make it over tge top w like blood dripping down lmao... a bat cursor. And my media log could look like a notebook? Make it look rly handmade w washitape n stickers, give it a pencil cursor.

Also rly want one that fruitger aero or aquarium inspired...

Baked... potatoo....

how many Simons can tgete rly b

When i go to bed to sleep i always end up waking up for several reasens. In the end i fall back asleep so whatever. I on my phone for a lil b4 turning around. Usually tumblr or instagram.

I noticed recently i keep getting iron lung rp accs recomended. And yea i live iron lung, i have no intrest in that kinda content... but im getting bombarded hhhh.

I have an apointment at 9.30 and its 3.40 rn, already slept alot but still not looking forward to b outa bed tgat early hhh.

Oh today also marks being 7 years on T, pretty cool.

Lastly: i was to tired to look into stuff but when coding n changing templates my code started looking messy. Like when adding a line it din stop same way as line b4 wich wasnt an issue w the last template. Ontop of that vsc said i had sevrral? Mistakes? Errors? In my css, n i looked but i dont see what? + everything seems to work?? So idk what up

Now i sleep again

Honk shoo mimimi

Still so much to do

Aight anothe coding update
I ended up changing to Sadgrls template
Must say i preffer petrapixels notes and uh? formating? over Sadgrls. Petrapixels seemed easyer? idk im rly tired. The reasen i changed is bc i had no clue how to edit some of petrapixels code and sadgirls seemed more... bare boned? 

Some stuff i added:
Imood, Guestbook, rainbow borders, custom cursor and cursor trail. Pleased how things look so far

 

 

codin on da wild web

OK SO IT LOOKS LIKE NOTHING RN BUT I FINALLY DID IT AND IM  HAPPY AB THAT
Heres a link confettii-gutz.neocities.org 
Oh havnt mentioned here but i changed username for personal acc, from rainbow-clown-guts to confettii,gutz
Thought it sounded better and then i can use the "confettii" w 2 i's bc its just for personal stuff 
Heres a picture of the current state of the site. I wanna be able to see the progress in x amount of time so i wanna take a screenshot everytime i save. Also just wan talk ab my progress a lil bit. Im still looking into how to exactly use components bc as i understand its an extra file/bit of code you can link into you proper code to re-use surtain pieces of code without having to redo it (A button for example). Since i really wanna have a fun cursor and cursor trail i was thinking of trying to make those into a component... but i actually wanna make completely difrent theme for all/most of my pages. Reason being i collect many graphics and i like putting together different stuff. that way i wouldnt have to change up my whole theme and can just just a single page. I felt bad for having to look stuff up (the annoying voice in my brain like "u literly JUST learned how to do that, u shouldnt have to look it up") but after i did look it up i feel like i uh kept on to the knowledge more? 
Most of the day i was just kinda postponing it by looking at code snipits... wich will help in the future 

 

More coding thoughts and ideas

I spent a whole day trying to prep myself to finally take the jump and make my own site.... 
With no succes sadly. Im verry exited to customize the site... but in order to do that i need an actual site OTZ
Id love to build from the ground up but im not confident enough yet. I also really need to get it in my nogging that i SHOULD look up stuff. I talked with a friend who has coded for school and told me their teacher also does that (also how tf would i even have this innate magical ability to just do everything if ive never done it b4, alas anxiety)
I grew up on deviantart as a kid and teen, at the time it got pretty much hammered into your skull that if you used refrences, looked stuff up ect you where just stupid... And i dont believe that but raaah.
Ive found it time and time again that when i actually do these things, whatever im trying to do/make comes out better hhh. Id like to beat up my brain
I will atempt whenever im awake again, to bite the bullet and use a template to finally get things started. I can always change things and when im ready i can build from the ground up

I was looking into how to have a blog on neocities and it seems i can make a widget that links my blog entrees on here. Wich is fantastic!
The main thing i was dreading is that i wouldnt be able to write blog entrees on my phone bc from what i can tell the main other options are to just use the code to write your entrees, but that means id only b able to do it on my pc.

What this does mean is that this blog will be simplified and used only for blogging. Meaning these will disappear (well more so migrate to the site) 

I know ive made smtg similer in the past but i have a more updated list of stuff id like to have on my site:

• Home (maybe draw out how id like thing to look?)
• Guestbook/leave a doodle
• About
• Blog (can put a blogger widget so can keep using blogger)
• Page with webrings, buttons, cool sites
• Toybox
• Bookmarks (Art, Scrapbook, Web design, Artist Alley, Dolls, Fun things. Each section having sub sections like web design -> graphics, resource ect)
• Favorites (Characters, Movies, Series, Games, Animals, Artists, Music)
• Characters
• Shrines (Dogs, Hyenas, Opossums, Howls Moving Castle, Omori, Littlest Pet Shop)
• Media log, What media im consuming, want to consume and lil reviews

These arent ordened in the exact way id put them but whatever 

Oh lastly, i only remember the ending really. But i dreamd i was getting chased and mid chase i turn around and tell the bad guys "ok guys holdon i need to go pee, ill b back after" and they nod. I then woke up having to pee really badly lmao

Oh damn, he do be coding

Started to actually sit down and learn how to code with html and css on W3schools.
Past few days been messing around with finding lil code snippets and pasting those around my blog. Wich got my a closer look into how the code works. And then some kinda switch flipped and i could "translate" it in my head to be understandable. Wich made me finally start to learn. 
So far i understood most of what was said, i follow along in visual studio code and i take notes to help me remember stuff. I gotta remind myself this isnt school, i can make as many mistakes as i need to. I got stuck at one point but managed to solve it by myself. I then went on to read some of Petrapixel's tips. She said a big part of coding is to make mistakes and fixing them... and that does help ease some of my nerves. 

Im pausing for now and will be heading to bed soon.
Im just very proud of myself so far :3

Layout update

 Updated my blog, i like it alot more now

Web design

Man i really wanna design and mess around with my own site. But it confuses me so much. Im using a template atm since i do know a lil bit on how to edit that... but im having trouble with that aswel (alright so listening to techno ontop of that dosnt seem to help the fact i also have a headache hhhh)

This is what i have. And on one side id like to pay the 5usd monthly thing just so i can edit freely and have no restrictions... but my ass dont know how to code so what would that help lmao??
I have a friend who knows how to code but they started school a few days ago and said theyre already exhausted so i dont wanna bother them (maybe when they have vacation but thats gonna take awhile)

Like i know if i sit down and try my best i can learn, but on my own? Id rather have somebody who can teach me 1 on 1 and i can have direct feedback from. No clue how or where i could possibly find that. Or imma need to pray to whatever that i start hyper-fixating on coding LMAO

Ive been looking at other ppls neocities, so incase i forget these are some things id like to have on my own:

• A log and/or diary: Kinda what im doing here lol (well tbh i did make this bc idk how to code hhh)  
• Dream Diary: ... same as b4
• A toybox: Ive seen other ppl have what they call a "toybox" on their site. A collection of surtain images they found online. Like blinkies, stamps and buttons
• A shrine: A collection of info about a surtain topic the user is intrested in. Some things i could make shrines of: Dogs, Hyenas, Opossums, Howls Moving Castle, Omori, Littlest Pet Shop, uhh? headblanc lmao
•  Artist Alley resource page: I wanna make a page with everything i have experience in, things id still like to experiment with, where to find xyz etc.
• Old web resource page: seems very self explanatory
•  Interest list. i currently have a spreadsheet where i put things i like and try to keep updated (i made this initially for my friends to help em get me a present for my bday). I just feel like making it look pretty would be nice
• Something to put media in: Idk maybe rate it aswel? put on a "to watch/play" list aswel?
•  uhhhh? Maybe ill edit this, maybe not