appley soise

No clue what i dreamd of but somebody said "if i where a pokemon that sucked, id be Roronoa Zoro"... and then i woke up??? 

Im so hungry but we got nothing in this damn house (see: w no prep, i dont wan make spaghetti n eat it in bed).. ive been surviving off of stale bread ad nutella bc mu brother ate the dsmn peanut butter... but... the apple sauce in the cabinet... it has been whispering my name.... it knows i musnt... I CANT NO FOR GRAN HAS GREAT PLANS IN YOUR FUTURE!... but it eyes me so when i get the nutella... i fear i might not be strong enough in the future to whitold myself... oh applesauce, how i crave you...

 

Downloaded obsidian, i been customizing the ui for HOURS, sudenly got filled with dread? like i got overwhelmed? and i shut it down, was not happy with what i did LMAO. 

 

Partner sadly cant get piercing soon so i will have to go by my lonesome. Already mailed sombody some questions for an apointment. Hopefully somewhere next week. Exited to b able to have cute earings in the future :3

 

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of beginning this blog, yippee!

Ive not been writting here alot recently. I just dont have anything i wish to talk ab. Rest asured i will when i do

 

crying, as im about to close my pc to get in bed they decide to start doing construction outside. Both outside my window and from the livingrooms side. THEY HATE ME!!! 

Coding wise i finally made a sidemap. Tho i wanna make it visually clear wich pages are up and arent (likly just putting a das trough the ones that arent)

I went trough several hells trying to finally start a bead curtain. I have alot of beads but theyre all difr kinds of beads... so im making a tiny one w those small glass beads..  it look wonky as hell hhh. I will finish it tho

Bought tickets to epic doll fair! Itl b in march, exited! 

Doll idea... wuh-oh

I made a horrible discovery, Resinsoul has a head i hadnt seen before... Its called starshine, wich sparked an idea in my head... I have Ko-Eh as doll... What if i get Onyx... So i started editing some pictures togeter... Resinsoul is known to be really customizeable, to a degree that i have not seen any other doll campany do? Usually when u see a doll you can choose out of the pre-chosen options like resin color, normal head or sleeping head. When its artist made and they cast/print the doll themselves you could ask for a custom color. if you want anything fancy youd either do it yourself or commission a fellow hobby-ist... But Resinsoul has accepted some insane requests like; adding up to 4 extra arms (so 6 arms in total), 2 heads on a torso, basicly any custom color you want, if you want a head to match a body your buying you can send them the headcap and they will match it! multiple colors, like arms red, legs yellow ect even transparent colors!!. SPLIT COLOR!! this is a new one!! basicly half the doll is one color and the other half another BUT VERTICAL!! Changing ears out (like u want a head to have elf ears instead of human ears and they just, do that!). Sizing up/down parts to fit other dolls, they had paws that where originally made for 1/6 but somebody asked for 1/4 and they did that! Changing faces like adding eyes, closing/opening them and i even saw a cyclops! Installing magnets INTO the head, usually people put a magnet under a wig but its annoying to get right and when u take the wig off the magnets can move... urg.
Craziest thing of all is that theyre still one of the most cheapest dolls out there! EVEN WITH ALL THESE CUSTOM MODS! AND THEY ACCEPT LAYAWAY??? AND AND AND!! THEY COME WITH A FREAKING CARRY CASE!! 
The main cons IMO is: the site hasnt changed AT ALL, wich i gues can be neutral... They dont list all their availble products, and with DOA being shut down a majority of resources has been lost. I havnt bought one in years so maybe this has changed... but the eyes they include in dolls are so damn ugly LMAO.
I did find somebody who seems to be collecting pictures of customized resinsouls, Def go check it out. And there is the FB group... spend some time scrolling trough that, saw some of my own posts... having compleatly forgotten ab a doll i used to own? Lmao? 

So my idea is to ask Resinsoul to put the Starshine head on a B4225 body and then get them in multiple gray colors to match my characters design. On top of that id like to ask them to install magnets inside the head, Look around at their horns if any possibly match? and MAYBEE i could ask them to make the ears like in my concept (stretched earlobes) However its no problem if id need to add that on myself as im gon need to add the hair on the dragon tail too.

Heres some stuff i put togeter as concept!

 

On that note... id also like to sell some of my current dolls. If any friend of mine wanna get into that pls do hit me up... 

Reminiscing of an artist i once knew

When i see a puppy i become emotional. This isnt a new phenomenon. I look at puppys and feelings overwhelm me, not quiet sadness? Longing? A deep apreciation and love? It makes me feel like i should cry.

I really love dogs... ended up making dog character... her name is Ivy :3

I finally ended up making my button. Rly simple but i can always change it. So i aplied to some webrings! 

My brother went to Amsterdam for 10 days, hes back now and he brought me nougat ;u;

I havnt had it in so long, but i LOVE nougat!...

 

I really shouldnt think ab BJDs rn... but so many characters... NO GET IT TOGETHER I STILL HAVE DOLLS THAT NEED FINISHING... but i cant, my materials r somewhere in my room but idk where or how to reach them... NOO SHUT UP... hmmm light blue doll... AAAAAAA

On a doll related note, i saw that Epic doll fair will be in 2027 and my friend has her license now! Weve been wanting to go to this doll con for so many years now lmaoo, but its in the netherlands and would take about 4h by train to get there... "only" 2 hours with car!

 

I really badly need a friend i can throw money at who can crochet. Beaming the thought of wanting to crochet into all my friends.
Its just a craft i dont enjoy doing but theres stuff i want hhh 

 

WARNING!
the following part is me talking about an artist who has some darker and heavy themes like selfharm, abuse and gore. None of it is drawn in a hyper-realistic way tho. All art is "hidden" inside links

Doa update! now LE?

Update on Den of Angels (The BJD forum):

So In august (this month) the site was gonna close but get left on "read only". The reasen being that the mods could not contact the current owner to potentially switch ownership (bc the owner had not paid for site upkeep and basicly disapeared from the face of the earth). But now theres been a plot twist! The owner has been in the known all along! Got rid of the mods roles, the site is now in a non functioning state AND they left this msg??

 

So safe to say the community is hella confused. gues we gotta wait till september to find out more?

On the flip side the (now ex-)Mods of DOA made their own forum Called Lovely Everyone! (Or LE for short i think?) With updated rules, the are way less strict on doll type (much needed in this comunnity) AND they allow username change!!! The old name will display like on steam. So i made an acc, i thought it was gonna take awhile to get my acc aproved but it was approved after an hour! Back when i made an acc on DOA i had to wait several weeks, but given LE is rly new i supose not many people know of it yet?

As with DOA theres a min required post amount and wait time until u have acces to the market place... 2 months and 50 posts, however if its anything like DOA you can not just spam random bs to up ur count. So at EARLYEST i should have acces late oktober... i made 2 comments today but tgey counted as one so its as expected hhh thisl take forever. Either way im determined.

Lee(?) wherever u are, i hope u shit urself u weirdo

When i was still friends with my Ex i was also kinda "friends" with all their friends. I was like 14/15 around this time and they where part of the local cosplay community. My ass had major social anxiety so i kinda just hung around them always lol.
I remember them becoming good friends with somebody... but for the life of me i have no idea what they where called... Anyway this is about that person. All i remember is that they use they/them where like late 20s/early30s? and had a boyfriend, so nothing rly special LMAO. They where nice and thus i talked with them from time to time... oh! i remember they really liked supernatural and wore a cosplay of the guy with the wings... Castiel? idk, i just remember bc i wore my Clear cosplay then, for the 2nd time.
Anyway ive seen them a couple of times at cons back then, when i had the fight w my ex i wanted to keep up some friendships with people wich included them.
They told me my ex was aperently bad talking me to everybody, so that was great. 
I just remember this one time BJDs came up, so i was exited to tell them about it. I think around that time i received 2 Resinsoul centaurs (the yosd ones Winter and Spring) To wich they then accused me of having bought recasts (recast=fake=stolen from the original artist, and then copies get made to b sold for much cheaper)... i was furious LMAO, I would NEVER buy a recast, i did extensive research and saved up to be able to buy them, i bought them trough Think pink (used to be one of the only european dealers, they where located in the Netherlands... and have been out of bussiness for yeaaars now) and waited a couple of months to receive them! The reasen they acused me was bc the dolls where cheap even tho i tried to p[rove that they where real... i didnt talk to them anymore after that. I do now think this was the most nothing burger ever but i was a teen lmao. Afterwards i also thought "they dont even own any, what fucking ground do they have to stand on to accuse me???", i think its so funny looking back how worked up i got over this LMAO.
I get reminded of this every now and then, but some time ago i was also reminded of another "cosplay" they did. They where frustrated that they had to cover up parts of their cosplay, my ass was dumb and din ask what it was... hell when i saw it irl i din rly realize what it was, they had some tape on a hat and wore a long black coat, for some reasen i thought it was something alt fashion related?... it wasnt until years later that i realized that was a fucking nazi uniform. And to this day im just??? why tf??? where they wearing that???? WHY DID I NOT REALIZE??? CRYING??? LIKE YEA IT MADE FUCKING SENSE THEY HAD TO COVER UP THEIR "COSPLAY"
I have no clue if this person is still cosplaying or goes to cons, i only really vaguely remember their face. wait... i got struck by a thought... memory?? maybe... their name was Lee? also! if it isnt Lee im sorry to the imaginary Lee. If it Lee idc ab putting some weirdo on "blast" (yes on my very publicly availble blog that billions of trillions of ppl read)

Wich brings me to my next point that i wanna look into. Why tf is alot of kink and fetish clothes nazi inspired???
Aight looked it up, kinda self explanatory ngl. Just the "taboo", control and also kinda making fun of the original thing? My bad ig

The loss of Den of Angels

Before i got my first BJD i did extensive research. Back in 2015 there was a small local con that had a panel about them wich i attended. There i got suggested to join Den Of Angels (AKA DOA). I remember my join date being May 2015, somewhere after my birthday. That same year in september i was able to buy my first BJD, secondhand from somebody that lives a 2h drive away from me, i know this bc my grandpa drove me there in trade that i had to accompany him to visit some family that lived close by. While i dont own the body anymore, i still have the head. A Vanidoll Zoe, it was an artist cast head so theres some imperfections but i still like the head alot. Only a handful of people own this head, back when instagrams tag system still worked there where like 5 difrent people with one (wich included me). And for many years now the artist has vanished from the internet. 

As of next month DOA is officially closing down. Ive known for several months now, the reasen being that the owner of the site disapeared and the only 2 mods left are not able to re-new the site without ownership transfer. I was thus hoping the owner would do this... but alas... If im not mistaken this year DOA would have turned 22years old. Its no secret that forums and likewise sites have been disapearing more and more. And while DOA wasnt the most social place, it was THE place for information. There was also a secondhand market wich you could only acces after you where a member for a few weeks and had like 30 comments to your acc, this would help prevent scams. It was the only place you could be secure of buying a legit secondhand BJD. Afterwards people left feedback to eachother.

DOA wasnt a perfect place ofcourse. Tumblr has (had? not sure if its still up) a blog called BJDconfessions. There i kept up with the latest news and drama of the comunity... taken with a grain of salt of course (tho funny, everybody knew of  it but if you confessed to reading it you where considered a drama seeker). On the blog DOA often got criticized for being elitist (in this context: collectors there preffered people who had the expensive brands like Fairyland, Dollshe and whatnot)...
Ok can confirm theres still similer blogs like the-bjd-community-confess, givemethatbjdtea and bjd-confessional. And while idk any of the current names thrown around, it is just the same old type of drama lol. An anoying thing i found myself is that you where allowed only one account, valid, this was so if u scammed ppl, you could not evade this by making a new profile... However you where NOT allowed to change your username!! At all! They claimed this was for siml reasen HOWEVER?? Just do like steam and display like "xyz used to be known as abc", problem solved. The main problem was that if you made a new acc and they figured out you got thrown out on both accs... This was a big issue when somebody tried to make a new acc bc their old one had their deadname and the mods where like "rules aply to everybody"... On another note my username was "Oliver", no numbers or special signs, just Oliver. Was pretty proud of that... Except that it for years felt so removed from my current identity. Ofc i put on there my current handles and what have you. But still yea

For a reeeaaallly long time i was obssessed with BJDs. I constantly kept up with the latest releases (NOT BUYING! Just looking lmao). I was pretty active in the comunity and still have alot of mutuals from back then. But im intrests have shifted, i still love it! Its just not my main intrest nowadays. The comunity used to be mainly on instagram but with the tag system broken it became imposible to find anything. People shifted to discord and while sure i am on discord, im just not great in big social comunitys. I often just feel ignored or confused bc theres to many difr chats and then loose intrest.

Dispite all that i still have retained all my knowledge, whilst its a bit more dificult nowadays bc i havnt kept up with new releases, im still able to identify a big portion of dolls... Hell more recently my friend asked me what sculpt her doll was wich she bought years ago... and ofc i remembered LMAO.

I find it sad that DOA is closing, today i wanted to take a final look around, take some screenshots of some memories and whatnot... but its like broken? Like the CSS isnt working? I could still log in but other then that i wasnt able to actually look around... Ill try again in a few days. But heres a pic from the wayback machine

I really wanna make a shrine on my site for BJDs, add a bunch or resources too for ppl... but that might take a bit till i get to that
If anybody reading this is intrested in BJDs pls let me know. Id love to share my knowledge and/or answer any questions.
For now i will leave these:
BJD Collectasy - For new releases and any news
Alice's Collections - My go to dealer
The Discord Server
If a doll is for sale on Alixpress, Amazon, Wish or likewise... Its not real, avoid at all cost.

Gurl play with yo doll n stfu

Its so funny to have niche intrests with small comunitys, yet drama is in all of them
Ive  been in the BJD hobby for nearly 11 years. I was part of the comunity for a long while but nowadays i just dont rly interact with that anymore. I do still follow people and so from time to time i just see a post come by with some bs. Same with LPS. But the BJD one always makes me laugh bc its rly just some adults having a hissy fit over dolls. Seeing a person claim somebody stole their idea wich was just a doll with red hair and green eyes. Im ofc not talking about the whole recasts discussion (wich for the record im against. Idc ab knockoff shit but recasts is stealing from artists)

 

Terrified Boogie time

Listening to spotify daylist, its "uncanny analog sunday evening" alright cool. Giving some spooky songs like The lobotomy, songs from The Caretaker ect... and then it gives Death by glamour??? AND I NOW SEE IT GIVES PARTY AT CLUB BUG??? Im so confused, am i supposed to be scared or boogie??

 

I put my lil dolls into clothes, Most dont fit the characters aesthetic but they look cute so eh. Sadly the smallest dragon dosnt really have any clothes that fit them, like the clothes are already pretty baggy for the regular ones. 

Also i should NOT be allowed access to buy shit when i wake up. I partially blame that my shopping cart memorized stuff from my pc... but the other day i ended up buying 2 new blooms and so many lil parts (cough up to 300euro i think)... not that i have to explain myself but i like to so... I had some extra saved up this month and im not touching my savings acc.
Today i bought some tail bits and lil crocks

So some plans:
The first one is in a really pretty yellow. I initially wanted the neutral color but it was sold out. Tho im happy im getting the yellow one! I got it with a face that has a lil bandaid on its nose hehe.
The second one has me realize i apply for the event reward, a free face... but u could buy a body along with it... wich is in the neutral color... so yea

So i bought 2 chunky tails in 2 difr kinds of greens, i wanna mix em so its striped. I also have several ears and horns in the similer green. Not sure who i wanna pair it with yet. I have a white body aswel still. On one side i do like the green to go with the yellow body, but i bought rainbow bits and feel like i wanna turn them into a verry rainbow-y kinda character. But i got alot of other bits and bobs aswel + a lil bag of difr faces. 

Sniling Sneetly

 As expected, there will be periods of time where i wont be writing entrees here
Mainly bc i dont feel like it or i just have nothing really i wanna talk about. I rather use this when i feel like using it bc forcing myself makes me not do it.

Had an energy peak and i put together some of my Frappzilla doll kits, some of these are from 2021. I put together 6 and a small one. I gave up on sanding the dolls, i just dont have the energy for that. I only sand of tiny extra bits of resin. I also glue in the magnets (my hands been full of glue aaaaa) i really like that all the magnetic parts are interchangeable. I was able to make some combinations i really like. I have 7 kits still. Id like to sell some as theres been some new releases id like to buy, to help me sort my thoughts imma just write a bunch of that here

I itch... to buy.... raaaaahhh

Im tired and still got a headache, my hands sweat, my nose is stuffy, my hips and back hurt and i just feel uncomfortable. I just checked the weather and its 28°c, that explains why im sweaty and uncomfortable.
I wanna do something but im unsure of what. Ive been having the "buy something" craving. Problem is there are multiple things id like to buy...

1. A DreamValley "The Ancient Secret-Daphli" (Bat!!!)

I wish i could put pictures next to eachother but whatever.

Shes so cute! Id love to actually own the fullset (like with everything thats included in the first pic). It would run me around 557.70USD, Wich for a tan msd with interchangeable arms (where one are poseable wings!), everything in the pic AND an extra pair of painted hands and flat feet. Id dare say thats not bad at all.
Pros:
-Fullset, so dont need to get anything else
-Layaway, Id get it from Alices Collection meaning i can buy it with a layaway, so a 30% down payment and then just pay it off in the next 5 months

Cons:
-Its alot of money
-Looking at the the "pile" of dolls in my room without wigs, eyes, face-ups etc, etc, etc... 
-I have no character

In conclusion thats a big
no