sick or allergy

Hmmm i tgink allergy bc this the seasen of pollen. But my back/shoulder is hurting. Shes scares it might b a lung infection... i dont think that. I woke up sone days ago w my shoulder hurting when i do surtain movement. However it also hurts when i breath in a lil too deep or when i sneeze. I do think i slept laying wrong. Im hyper flexible n to get in a comfy position i tend to bend my body in strange ways. The pain already lessened much. 

I bought a new backpack. Been looking for a hot while. Was first intending to get a light blue one but then i remembered its likly gon get dirty. So i ended up w a darked turquoise... i recieved it n its a bit darker then expected sigh. Still like it tho. Its not a regular backpack, its meant for traveling. So it has like 1 main pocket thats majority of tge backpack. It has elastic inside like a suitcase n u can open it up compleatly. And then it has a bunch of hiden pockets. I felt lije this better suited my wants/needs then my old backpack (wich is like 6 years by now damn) also just rly wanna step away from black unless its smtg i rly like. Cougg i used to only get black items so i wouldnt b noticed. Bc it felt the safest. N then i realised thas a horrible way to live so i started buying colordul stuff bc it makes me happy. Also wanna sew a bunch of my patches onto it.

Rebloging Project Hail Mary content like my life depends on it. I also see and reblog some blodymary stuff (Iron Lung X Project Hail Mary) I dont rly ship it romanticly (neither do i mind the ship). In my mind Grace is aroace. But i like blodymary for Simons potential. Also Grace and Simon queer platonic partners? hmmm- yes. 

 

I found Marginalia-search and been exploring on there. Its a search engine but the goal is just exploring if that makes sense. I love those kinda things. Found a blog thats been reviewing difrent kinds of dolls since 2012 and has a post as recent as april this year. When looking trough it i found some doll lines i completely forgotten about. 

 

Goodlord, i wanted to pick up the shirt i ordered but its raining pretty hard.

 

I revamped my blog! Its now fish yippee

 

Bruh i liked 1 (one) death note post n now my whole tumblr is full of it

 

Recently i changed up my Toyhouse profile, i rly like how its looking :3 I should get back to coding my site. But my brain is occupied with "must draw" Bc i at least want to have a reference for Astra before Artfight starts this year. This is what i got so far. Wont be bothering with lineart.

how long can it rly take for an elevator

I din sleep qlot as expected. Just rolling around alot. I was so confused when my alarm went lmao. Good i set like 4 bc i kept faling back asleep. Going to endo i forgot they blocked off a big portion of hospital so had to walk alllll the way around (i think idv been faster if i took 2 difr trams to get there ffs) and then i got at tge elevator... tgere where so many ppl. It took so long. It was finally here.... ppm get off new get on n i dont fit.... i then had to wait again... when FINALLY ny turn is alot of ppl again. We had to stop at each floor n mine was at 9... 27 mins later than apointment im finally at waiting room... also alot of ppl here n i know my dr is still gon take hiw time till its my turn. The world hates me.

Somebody sitting 2 seats next to me brought their tablet n is drawing a comic panel, the art looks rly nice. Im rly trying not to b a creep by staring. I wish i could tell them im a fellow artist... ah alas they left. This rly masc dude, buzzcut, full of tattoos ect in front of me has cute lil pink bows on their black shoes. Seems to n lil plastic bits added after purchase. I think is very cute :3

I do hope i wont have to wait tooo much longer...

I try to eat smtg b4 i leave home but it always bites me in tge ass. I ate 3 slices of bread w choco. Im lowkey nauseous (i mean im in a nervous state had to hurry ect hhh). N my nose smeezy!!! Aaaaa.

Bruh beating myself up, i saw weatger will b poop, WHY DID I PUT MY SUNGLASES (+ CASE) IN MY HAND BAG.

Ok b so fr rn. I had to b at endo at 10.40 its 12 rn. I was 27 mins late yes BUT WHADAHELL? Theres been ppl b4 me also still waiting! Bruh

When i finqlly got out id had to havemy blood taken... but instead i left for movie... good tging bc i arrived just in time. It was n AMAZING movie... i shed many tears... i need to let it marinate b4 i talk ab it tho. 

After i went to friend house. Just chillin. We looked in a dog and a cat book. Wich was just us info dumping the whole time. He gave me bread pudding n now im omw home. 

Idk why but i feel jittery inside. My back hurt... toired...

Its 6.46 am

Im in bed eating bread pudding... is so good 

I bought a sleeveless shirt on vinted. I never rly bought 2nd hand clothes (just din grow up doing that. It was like a lil over 5€ incl shipping. I mainly just want a shirt that shows my tattoo on my left arm but short sleeves cover it. I have some tank tops but i maonly ise em as a pj top lol.

Anyway this is the shirt 

Idk if the skeleton is feom anything. Just thought it looked neat.

I also wanna wear accesories but anytime i try i feel like a lil kid that got in their moms jewelry box. Like rings dont rly fit my fat sausage fingers n bc my hands sweat i wash em alot...

Bracelets r also hhh. Theyre always so tight.

Its almost my bday!

I cannot think ab uh, thw passage of time/me getting older for too long. Like just brinfing it up n i need to calm down. It gen so terrifiying to me. I feel nauseous, i wamna burst out crying. I need to move on bc ill legit get a panic atack

Im gonna scroll tumvlr n sleep

Project Hail Mary... i wish to watch thee...

When i woke up i was rly upset bc "school is gonna start again soon i really dont wanna go..." (i specificly had middle school in mind). Then realization hit me... ive graduated highschool almost 6 years ago... hhhh. 

Been seeing so much Project Hail Mary online. It gen seems liie a rly nice movie. I wanna watch it so bad whaaaahhh. Maybe ill see if some friends would wanna go w me. Just a bit hhh bc this month will b busy already (saterday going out to drink smth w friends, endo, visit my evil ex-dog (said lovingly), celebrate bday, forced to go to some kinda info sesh (day after bday party aaaaa) and at the end of month im going to germany for a few days (for Dokomi). 

Hmmm i could watch after endo appointment bc thats at 10am n movie is 13.45 hmmm... hmmm... i asked friends if they could join me n if not i go myself... birthday present to myself... nyess >:3

Many exiting things planned!... im gon b so exhausted lmao. Next month i might feel the reprocausions of my actions but thas an issue for future me

Rn im in bed (for a change of scenery /j) n its getting too hot for comfort for me. Tomorow up to 20°c? Theyre out to kill me ffs. Praying to everything that Dokomi will b bearable heat wise... rly stupid bit exited to go grocery shopping in germany bc cheaper and bc products u cant get here. + were w 2 cars wich incl my patner who will drop me off at home so i can get a decent amointnof groceries... i should bring one of those shopping crates so easy transport... yessss... muehehehe...

Wrote on character blog again. Just know im thinking ab Ilya... i imagine like lil white bnuy surounded by gore but she is eating like a dandylion. The horrors persist but she choses to be kind despite everything... 

Ft Ilya pretending to b Markiplier