I felt like absolute kaka bc i forgot to take my meds yesterday. It makes me feel? odd? dizzy? idk but its not great. Took em when i woke up and 4h later im finally somewhat ok.
Is now midl of night next day. Woke up for regular pee. But im shaking like crazy??? No clue whats that ab. Also ive wokn up multipl times b4 n i feel so hungry each time? I eat! Idk whas wrong w me. Ig i do need my T shot this week...
Started watching Haunted Hotel a few days ago, it gave me Ghost vibes but animated? Its entertaining enough to watch while i eat...
Now its no secret i have some difficult feelings around my mom, saying i have "mommy issues" is not exactly wrong... but i never knew my dad and never really cared for him or wanting to know him. Wont lie that i sometimes wonder what he thinks, like of me and everything (not that it would matter, just curiosity). Since i was 3 months my grandparents been raising me, my grandpa was my father "figure"... Well i feel like people never really get it especially when they have a father and grandparents. I lost my grandpa some years ago and i find it frustrating that people seem to link it to the same degree as their grandparents. And yea losing any kind of family member can be hard. But pls stfu if you think your grandfather you saw maybe once a month or only at family gatherings, having died, as the same lvl of emotional impact as mine dying. My grandpa wasnt even blood related to me, yet he raised me as if i was his own child. Anyway thats besides the point.
I just wanted to say, i grew up with a father figure in my life who loved me... wich brings me to Haunted Hotel. The 2 main kids have no dad but one episode has the lil sister raising a dead guy to stand in as their dad. And at the end they "let him go" bc well hes decaying and yada yada. But it made me realize that often media with such themes ab an absent father get to me? and i dont understand why. I cant find the link in my brain as to why it gets to me? I had a father figure, the father role was fulfilled in my life. And i trully could not care less if my bio father died this second, that guy is a stranger to me (and from what my family says he was a real pos ontop). If i had the option to meet him i would simply not wanna.
Welp idk, emotions r strange, i hate em
Saw this picture... would b cool to draw Mettaton using it as refr... but i dont make prints so ehhhh
